Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard
-W.H. Auden
My Favorite Epigrams & Such
Please excuse my impertinence at herewith emulating an action of our illustrious president, George Washington. President Washington’s document emulated a Jesuit document, little knowing the priests in turn had plagiarized an Italian document first published in 1558.
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Don’t answer questions you’re not asked.
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Goofy questions and goofy truths are goofy.
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There are no experts.
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Nature abhors straight lines.
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There are no secrets.
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Who you are is always on display.
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A young man with three days growth of beard is hot.
An old man with three days growth of beard is
just an old man with three days growth of beard. -
Knowledge is always incomplete; act on what you know.
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Assume people are good.
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Evil is vain; it must expose itself.
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Jealously destroys. Everyone.
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Falling in love is easy.
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We often are in the company of our betters.
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The intent is not the same as the deed.
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It is impossible to shit gracefully.
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Anything can happen once;
the second occurrence exposes a pattern. -
No one reads page two.
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Do not use not.
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Avoid big “but”s.
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Always dot your “I”s.
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Vitalism is real.
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A grace of the divine is life.
A grace of life is consciousness.
A grace of consciousness is mind. -
Every construct carries the seed of its demise.
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Knowledge requires models, and only models.
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Models are networks of events.
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All models are incomplete.
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Learning is simply constructing models.
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The more complex a model, the more likely it’s inaccurate.
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Memory is likely a real-time reconstruction of models.
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Reasoning is more like music than logic.
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Invention precedes discovery.
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Never test blood; you’ll lose.
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Better never than late.
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Time is simply:
a sequence of events,
a mathematical construct,
a sense. -
Most academics just ride-the-pony.
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The arts distinguish human beings from all other forms of life.
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Fat chicks have fat tits.
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Orgies are flat, necessitating a choreographer.
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Professionals love the work or the lifestyle, never both.
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Trees climb high mostly for the wind. not the sun.
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To imagine something doesn’t make it real.
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Humans require a transcendent authority.
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Chance defines God.
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High school girls perfect seeking attention from boys;
boys just seek attention. -
I don’t shower, I womb.
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All promises beg to be broken.
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Proficiency requires four years’ field experience;
only repetition follows. -
Faith precedes reasoning.
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Beauty spawns awe.
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Elegance envelops simplicity, clarity and truth.
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Some elderly express wisdom;
all elderly express an odor. -
Good scotch, good music, good art
and good books change us. -
Reading begets reading and pondering.
Pondering begets pondering and writing.
Writing begets writing and insight.
Insight begets humanity. -
There is no substitute for intelligence.
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If you can’t go first class, stay home.
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History is simply inevitable events
sired by extraordinary persons. -
We always find what we’re looking for.
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A young man’s charm is pleasing;
An old man’s charm is tiresome. -
All projects will change.
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Any project losing its principal will fail.
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Knowledge stimulates wonder.
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Emergence always takes place at the edge;
between chaos and order. -
We all achieve as we’re able,
be it as fodder or king. -
Suffer neither fools nor celebrities.
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Liberty and Equality are always at odds.
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The business of America is business.
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All mathematics is geometric.
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Reading is a pleasure unto itself.
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Everyone in California is on.
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Public sector staff answer the voice mail.
Private sector staff answer the phone. -
Nature avoids constants.
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Humor works, ridicule doesn’t.
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Chance favors the prepared.
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All men live lives of quiet desperation.
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Don’t complain, don’t explain.
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Ideas are singular.
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Committees impose compromise.
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A camel is simply a horse refined by a committee.
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The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
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If you sleep with dogs, you’ll have fleas.
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Sloppy thinking generates uncertainty.
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Happy families are all alike;
every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. -
You never have to remember the truth.
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Listen to those whom you doubt;
that you may know your doubt. -
The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.
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The way that you wander is the way that you choose,
The day that you tarry is the day that you lose. -
There are more things in heaven and earth
than are dreamt of in your philosophy. -
Constructive criticism is not.
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Science is simply the art of precise measurement.
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God does not partake of our petty squabbles.
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Neither a lender nor a borrower be.
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Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.
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There’s always more to the story.